


chat for boolies and short kings

by Nervouslaughter508



Series: heathens galore? Maybe. absolute chaos and scumbaggery? Yes [3]
Category: The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Group chat, Memes, Multi, im back on my bullshit and it's gonna be even better, lil bit of angst, nothing is established except for chad/nick and agatha/tedros, pop culture references, the boys are back
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:15:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22416100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nervouslaughter508/pseuds/Nervouslaughter508
Summary: The boys are back and badder then ever, with ancient memes, costumes, Parks and Rec, MySpace blocks, Rodrick fanfiction, Jimmy Neutron, and roasting poor Tedros. Come join the Cool Kids Club
Relationships: Agatha/Tedros (The School for Good and Evil), Anadil/Hester (The School for Good and Evil), Beatrix/Reena (The School for Good and Evil), Chaddick/Nicholas (The School for Good and Evil), Dot/Kiko (The School for Good and Evil), Hort/Ravan (The School for Good and Evil), Nicola/Sophie (The School for Good and Evil)
Series: heathens galore? Maybe. absolute chaos and scumbaggery? Yes [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1544545
Comments: 52
Kudos: 64





	1. doing that thing you doo

**Author's Note:**

> I promise to do even better with the relationships this time.

**_Beatrix has a made a chat titled ‘useless gang’_ **

**_Beatrix has added 17 users to ‘useless gang’_ **

**Beatrix** \- so this happened 

**Agatha** \- all bad movies need a slightly better sequel 

**Vex** \- or a shittier one. 

**Agatha** \- way to be optimistic buddy the elf 

**Vex** \- you’re mean

**Hort** \- what happened to the old chat?

**Beatrix** \- 2012 gone right 

**Hort** \- doesn’t answer my question,,,, but ok

**Beatrix** \- destruction 

**Hester** \- i like this one, all of our names are normal 

**Beatrix** \- how boring 

**Chaddick** \- [image sent] my cat found my collection of rare edition oreos 

**Hort** \- oh my god 

**Beatrix** \- your cat needs to be locked away 

**Beatrix** \- 911 i just witnessed a murder 

**Nicola** \- whats this? 

**Beatrix** \- Nicola!! 

**Beatrix** \- this is us screaming about dumb shit 

**Agatha** \- and sending memes 

**Nicola** \- oh god 

**Ravan** \- how many of these do you plan on making? 

**Nicola** \- Ravan? 

**Ravan** \- No. 

**Nicola** \- this is gold. Ravan socializes. 

**Sophie** \- only if he’s made admin and trapped 

**Nicola** \- so anyways, i listening to music and roses by outkast came on and I thought about you Sophie :) boo

**Sophie** \- I- 

**Sophie** \- how dare you? 

**Nicola** \- i know you like to think that your shit dont stink but if you look closer even roses smell like poooooo

**Sophie-** funny, i listening to the song One of Those Crazy Girls and I thought of you Nicola :) 

**Nicola** \- um, exCuse me? 

**Sophie** \- Now I’m one of those craazy girlsss

**Nicola** \- we don’t talk about that 

**Sophie** \- _mY kIdS cAn’T hEar Meh tHey’Re lIstening tO kIdS bOp_

**Nicola** \- STOP IT, I AM NOT A KAREN

**Sophie** \- make me

**Hester** \- top ten phrases that create sexual tension 

**Nicola** \- WHAT 

**Dot** \- but hester didn't you say that to Anadil when she was trying to stop from running across the street to get to king soopers 

**Nicola** \- HA 

**Vex** \- exposed. 

**Hester** \- agatha is taking your spot in our coven 

**Dot** \- sjkhdaadjak can i at least my stuff? 

**Hester** \- no. 

**Dot** \- okay well then

**Agatha** \- i’m alright 

**Hester** \- y’all hear sumn? 

**Hester** \- its my soul leaving my body 

**Vex** \- you had a soul? 

**Nicola** \- Holy shit dude you fucking killed her 

**Hort** \- it’s like you have a constant death wish my guy 

**Ravan** \- You can run while she’s typing 

**Hort** \- go fast my friend. 

**Ravan** \- Nice knowing you 

**Hester** \- Vex you know that nicholas cage hoodie i was going to give you for christmas 

**Vex** \- don’t you dare 

**Hester** \- have my matches 

**Vex** \- NO 

**Hester** \- the hoodie still in the box 

**Vex** \- HESTER 

**Hester** \- five bucks after school tomorrow or else nicholas over here is going to taste my anger 

**Nicholas** \- …. 

**Vex** \- alright ma’am 

**Dot** \- Uncle Robin took me out today and we went to a halloween store and found this huge outside spider and he bought it for me and its just so 

**Dot** \- [image sent] adorable. 

**Anadil** \- dots spider and my rats would be best friends! What a cutie, Dot. 

**Sophie** \- spiders are not adorable 

**Agatha** \- spiders scare the piss out of me you know 

**Hort** \- honestly i hate spiders too but i have to let them bite me 

**Nicola** \- you don’t have to make them do anything 

**Hort** \- no but how else am i going to be spiderman 

**Hort** \- i have to let them bite me 

**Nicola** \- remember that bitch from percy jackson 

**Hort** \- ughhhhhhh nasty

**Ravan** \- you would be like spiderman x20 if Dots huge spider bit you. 

**Hort** \- that sounds pretty damn good right now. 

**Dot** \- my spider is fake 

**Ravan** \- No shit? It looked so real!

**Dot** \- you’re being sarcastic, aren’t you? 

**Ravan** \- Yes. 

**Kiko** \- if its an outdoor spider why is it in your bed? 

**Dot** \- I need emotional warmth when i sleep 

**Agatha** \- did you know that its been proved by scientists that people who need emotional warmth take long showers 

**Chaddick** \- can confirm 

**Hort** \- can relate

**Nicola** \- can prove 

**Sophie** \- can understand 

**Beatrix** \- yes. 

**Sophie** \- just look at my water bill hahaha 

**Ravan** \- what if you take cold showers all the time? 

**Agatha** \- who the hell…? What…? 

**Hort** \- Why would you do that? WHy would you do that to yourself

**Vex** \- you take cold showers all the time? 

**Ravan** \- I like to be cold. 

**Hester** \- that explains a lot. 

**Hester** \- when me and ravan dated he was always so chilly 

**Chaddick** \- Like emotionally or physically( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)?

**Hester** \- both :’) 

**Chaddick** \- oh 

**Ravan** \- oh 

**Anadil** \- oh 

**Reena** \- oh

**Sophie** \- oh

**Agatha** \- this took a turn 

**Chaddick** \- that is _literally_ a turn off.

**Ravan** \- you’re stupid

**Chaddick** \- you love me, admit it 

**Ravan** \- never. Go back to clown school you… clown. You’re a clown. Clown boy. 

**Chaddick** \- :( ravannnnnnn

**Hort** \- hey nick what did you guys do for halloween? I heard you won the couples contest 

**Nicholas** \- it was pretty fucking awesome

**Chaddick** \- we DOMINATED 

**Nicholas** \- we totally did. He was matilda's mom and I was mr. Wormwood. I was Danny Devito!

**Agatha** \- I REMEMBER THAT WAS SO BADASS 

**Tedros** \- DUDE THAT WAS AWESOME 

**Chaddick** \- I KNOW 

**Chaddick** \- beatrix curled my hair and dyed it platinum blonde, like, CINDY LOU WHO, WHO

**Nicholas** \- i wore a tweed suit with a cheesy veggie tales tie with a fedora 

**Chaddick** \- i wore a red tank top with red shorts and a fur coat 

**Tedros** \- my guy out here slaying in red shorts

**Tedros** \- NO HOMO THO

**Chaddick** \- NO HOMO 

**Tedros** \- NO HOMO 

**Nicholas** \- oh my god yes 

**Chaddick** \- AND THEN THE TEACHERS TRIED TO TAKE THE HAT OFF

**Nicholas** \- I SUPER GLUED IT ON 

**Chaddick** \- HE SUPER GLUED IT ON 

**Reena** \- How did it come off? 

**Chaddick** \- um 

**Nicholas** \- well 

**Chaddick** \- about that 

**Nicholas** \- ahaha 

**Chaddick** \- er 

**Nicholas** \- lmao jk jk we cut it off 

**Chaddick** \- yeah as if he would actually just keep it on for no reasons aha


	2. useless talk about memes and Halloween

_**'useless gang'** _

**Reena** \- is anyone else confused? 

**Anadil** \- yeah im pretty confused but whats new 

**Agatha** \- [image sent]

**Reena** \- now he looks like Mr. Wormwood

**Vex** \- i liked hester and anadils take on morticia and gomez

**Vex** \- like i had no idea what you two who actually dating but it was really cute

**Hester** \- no we’re not dating.. we did it because we wanted the free bag of Halloween candy 

**Anadil-** it was useless you ended up eating all the smarties 

**Anadil-** she poured them all in a bowl and poured it down her throat like some fucking monster 

**Sophie** \- you guys are disasters. 

**Agatha** \- we should have gone with your idea

**Nicola** \- what was her idea?

**Agatha** \- to all be voltron 

**Sophie** \- i stand by it 

**Nicola** \- you guys should have been, thats a badass idea 

**Sophie** \- Thank you! At least someone appreciates me and my ideas. 

**Nicola** \- ooh, i want to take it back now 

**Sophie** \- You can’t. 

**_Sophie has taken a screenshot_ **

**Sophie** \- See? 

**Nicola** \- dear god. 

**Nicholas** \- to think i missed this 

**Nicholas** \- i just noticed we don’t have any nicknames aha

**Nicola** \- you are right nic

**Nicholas** \- i know nic 

**Nicola** \- we gotta do something about this nick

**Chaddick** \- no we do not 

**Sophie** \- please don’t nic 

**Mona** \- What Would You Do If We Kissed In The Mickey House Clubhouse 😳😲

**Reena** \- but what if we didn’t… 

**Sophie** \- omg

**Dot** \- i love how thats the first thing you say in the shat

**Dot** \- chat*

**Dot** \- whateVER OKAY 

**_Nicola has changed their username to Noice_ **

**Noice** \- throwback meme day aways 

**Agatha** \- we should be the powerpuff girls guys!

**Sophie** \- YES 

**Tedros** \- NO 

**Sophie** \- YES 

**Agatha** \- John... I want a divorce 

**Tedros** \- divorce 

**Tedros** \- *chuckles*

**Agatha** \- It’s not funny John, and you know it’s been coming for a long time

**Tedros** \- well….

**Tedros** \- divorce *laughs*

**Agatha** \- wHy dO yOu alWays laUgh when i’M UPSET? 

**Tedros** \- oh, everytime you say divorce you just look so cute hehehehehehe

**Agatha** \- I’m Serious This Time John 

**Tedros** \- heheheheheheheheheheheeh

**Tedros** \- Serious. 

**Agatha** \- I’m absolutely serious 

**Sophie** \- PFTTTTT STOP

**Sophie** \- you guys are the absolute bomb diggity domb

**_Sophie has changed their username to Buttahcup_ **

**_Sophie has changed Agatha’s username to Boobbles_ **

**_Sophie has changed Tedros’s username to Blossom_ **


	3. i hate the ice age baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's always been a personal goal of mine to inflict this on you guys, I am so sorry- nope actually I'm super proud of this. based off this scene from parks and rec https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auK3t0MSsCA
> 
> Very sorry if the link is wrong

**Boobbles** \- what? Why am I bubbles?

**Blossom** \- i like this actually 

**Kiko** \- because you’re a sweetheart agatha

**Boobbles** \- I AM SCARY 

**Blossom** \- sure jan 

**Boobbles** \- never say that again 

**Mona** \- PFTTTT

**Mona** \- I REMEMBER THAT MEME

**Mona** \- so long ago… 

**Reena** \- back in the good ol days where everything was simple

**Beatrix** \- can you believe the 2000s are almost over?

**Buttahcup** \- um, don’t you mean the 2010s?

**Reena** \- nO

**Beatrix** \- feels like yesterday i woke up, raced downstairs to watch avatar the last airbender and eat reese's pieces with my pillow pet

**Reena** \- i’m still processing 2016 

**Noice** \- I’m still processing 2012 

**Nicholas** \- i’m still processing-

**Chaddick** \- processing… ?

**Nicholas** \- yes 

**Chaddick** \- alright

**Chaddick** \- who broke him

**Chaddick** \- i’m not mad

**Chaddick** \- I just want to know 

**Kiko** -...

**Kiko** \- I did. I broke him dick-

**Chaddick** \- No, no you didn't. 

**Chaddick** \- Hort? 

**Hort** \- don’t look at me, look at tedros

**Blossom** \- what? I didn’t break him

**Hort** \- Huh, that’s weird, how’d u even know he was broken? hmmmm 

**Blossom** \- because he’s right here, and broken

**Hort** \- suspicious 

**Blossom** \- No, it isn’t

**Mona** \- if it matters, probably not, but Beatrix was the last one to see him

**Beatrix** \- Liar! 

**Beatrix** \- i don’t even like him!

**Mona** \- oh yeah, why were you standing by him earlier?

**Beatrix** \- i use the scent to attract the females, every knows that,  _ mona _

**Kiko** \- lets not fight, i broke him, let me pay for it dick

**Chaddick** \- no. 

**Chaddick** \- who broke him??

**Blossom** \- dick 

**Blossom** \- Sophie has been awfully quiet

**Buttahcup** \- - _ really?! _

**Blossom** \- yeah really, first you throw away my dvds of littlest pet shop,  _ knowing _ that im still watching it and now you’re breaking people?

**Buttahcup** \-  _ we are a my little pony family _

**Boobles** \- shes right, we are

**Vex** \- S(hes) Br(ok)en 

**Mona** \- ᕕ( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ)ᕗ

**Ravan** \- Vex is a 14 year old girl 

**Reena** \- who

**Reena** \- broke nick

**Blossom** \- nick who broke you 

**Private Chat- Chaddick and Beatrix**

**Chaddick** \- i broke him 

**Chaddick-** he stole my heart so i grabbed him by the shirt and 

**Beatrix** \- STOP OK OK OK WE GET IT 

**Chaddick** \- but you don’t tho

**‘useless gang’**

**Nick** \- The kid ice age baby broke me 

**Noice** \- That little shit

**Mona** \- That kid was  **_LITERALLY_ ** Linus from Sharkboy and Lavagirl 

**Noice** \- “HAVE HIM EXPELLED.”

**Nick** \- do you guys even know any memes? Like, all you quote are old ones

**Noice** \- damn daniel, back at it again in the wrong neighborhood

**Mona** \- YOU CAN ONLY HAVE 3 BEANS

**Nick** \- im fixed now 

**Mona** \- don’t text me I’m gonna go read some spicy rodrick fanfiction 

**Hester** \- GET OUT 

**Hester** \- GET THE FUCK OUT 

**Dot** \- Oncler fandom for life you don’t even know 

**Anadil** \- stop this immediately im going to pass out 

**Hort** \- rawr XD

**Hester** \- HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH anadil is the only reason why i'm still here 

**Anadil** \- *insert keysmash* -_- hester is the sole braincell 

**Hort-** uwu whats this 

**Ravan** \- That’s it. That’s the final straw. 

**Hester** \- oh god oh fuck you fucked up

**Hort** \- SHIT

**Dot** \- bruhhh

**Mona** \- FUCKFUCKFUCK

**Anadil** \- y’all ded 

**Hort** \- you’re invited to my fun-eral 

**Hort** \- I am survived by my daughter Nicola and my horrible wife Ravan 

**Noice** \- wut 

**Hort** \- Lived for the good kush 

**Hort** \- YEET


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its been really hard for me to login lately over the course of this- year it feels like, and I always end up posting late and I'm really sorry, I love you guys

**‘useless gang’**

  
  


**Anadil** \- BRUHHHHHHH

  
  


**Dot** \- OH MY GOD-

  
  


**Hester** \- DID HE JUST 

  
  


**Mona** \- NOOOOOOO

  
  


**Reena** \- I DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING

  
  


**Hort** \- DID YOU REALLY GO AND DO THAT

  
  


**Vex** \- I CAN’T EVEN WITH THIS ANYMORE

  
  


**Noice** \- DID YOU JuST BLOCK ME ON mYsPaCE

  
  


**Buttahcup** \- I really hope you all are messing with me. 

  
  


**Noice** \- Soph you literally listen to the shrek 3 soundtrack do not open your mouth ever 

  
  


**Buttahcup** \- she’s lying

  
  


**Nick** \- mmhmmm

  
  


**Hort** \- shore 

  
  


**Anadil** \- yeah ok 

  
  


**Reena** \- ok but it really, really, slaps 

  
  


**Bobbles** \- nah, the first one was better

  
  


**Reena** \- I can’t disagree with that

  
  


**Hort** \- are we really out here,

**Hort** \- sleeping on the fairy godmother’s I need a hero?

**Dot-😞😩** mongo 

  
  


**Reena** \- I’m playing that during my wedding

  
  


**Beatrix** \- She’s gonna be walking down the isle 

  
  


**Beatrix** \- “Where have all the good men gone”

  
  


**Reena** \- thats ironic

  
  


**Beatrix** \- how so?

  
  


**Hester-** lmao 

  
  


**Reena** \- because I’m getting married to a womfn

  
  


**Anadil** \- Good for her. 

  
  


**Chaddick** \- I’m best man 

  
  


**Nick** \- no me

  
  


**Chaddick** \- what if there was a way… we could both be best men…

  
  


**Nick** \- I love you so much omg

  
  


**Nick** \- my boyfriend is big brain 

  
  


**Beatrix** \- I’m-

  
  


**Beatrix** \- WHAT 

  
  


**Nick** \- HUSH

  
  


**Nick** \- we’re planning a wedding

  
  


**Chaddick** \- bruh should tedros or bea be my best man when i get married

  
  


**Nick** \- Tedros is the ring bearer lol

  
  


**Blossom** \- yeah dude lol I signed that off on the google form lol

  
  


**Nick** \- lol 

  
  


**Blossom** \- lol 

  
  


**Bobbles** \- dude marriage is so scary

  
  


**Buttahcup** \- WE KNOW

  
  


**Blossom** \- WE KNOW

**Hester** \- We. Know. Agatha. 

  
  


**Bobbles** \- imagine getting married 

  
  


**Bobbles** \- after high school, we’re gonna have to do that or else we’ll be looked down on by all of our successful friends 

  
  


**Bobbles** \- ah and KIDS ew

  
  


**Hester** \- fucking wack 

  
  


**Hester** \- I’m not getting married.

  
  


**Dot** \- why not?

  
  


**Hester** \- DUDE

  
  


**Hester** \- last person I dated was RAVAN

  
  


**Hester** \- No offense I guess though 

  
  


**Hester** \- I would want to date someone i know

  
  


**Ravan** \- I get that, someone reliable 

  
  


**Noice** \- I think that’s just a natural want after the craziness of high school. Or college. You had your fun years but now you don’t want to go through life like, alone you know 

  
  


**Hester** \- Like someone sturdy

  
  


**Noice** \- doesn’t everyone want someone like that tbh

  
  


**Dot** \- if you could find someone like that, would you get married?

  
  


**Hester** \- probably 

  
  


**Dot** \- You’ll always have us 

  
  


**Ravan** \- But when we get out, I want to just experience things like Nicola was saying, not get married immediately. Do stuff. Study. 

  
  


**Anadil** \- Like college?

  
  


**Ravan** \- Sure, but I want time to travel. Visit my mom, see some stuff, etc. 

  
  


**Beatrix** \- You’ve got time man. We've all got time to do the things we want guys, we don't have a format we have to follow. 

**Buttahcup** \- I have big plans for after school

**Buttahcup** \- totally marriage though, i’m gonna have to reject a ton of people 

**Bobbles** \- a ton of men*

**Buttahcup** \- Aggie, don't call me out like that 

**Hester** \- Whats a ton to you Sophie? 

**Nick** \- ouch

**Buttahcup** \- You are uninvited to my wedding Hester. Forever. 

**Hester** \- I could only hope so 

**‘The boys eating shredded cheese at 3am’**

**Cola** \- i want to get married and have a puppy whos up for it

**whílliam** \- um, not it?

**Blegh** \- FUCK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys I was kidding, they don't use myspace ironically to scheme about who gets the last hot cheeto 
> 
> *clears throat* 
> 
> No they don't
> 
> also just because i'm obsessed with this and I want to share it with you guys  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_HjMIjzyMU


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guest appearance from some of the best boys and YES maybe some of my memes are dated and YES maybe I should have posted this chapter something-months ago but I'm doing it now because my schedule is magically clean. Expect a lot more updates guys, love you

**‘The boys eating shredded cheese at 3am’**

**Cola** \- i want to get married whos up for it

**whílliam** \- um, not it

**Blegh** \- FUCK

**whílliam** \- i write vows not tragedies eh bogden? 

**Cola** \- damn okay

**Blegh** \- nic this isn’t working out i'm in love with your father

**Cola** \- Nobody: 

**Cola** \- JK Rowling:  about to tell my parents they’re gay

**Blegh** \- Nic, you’re gay 

**Cola** \- *surprised pikachu*

**whílliam** \- love, you forgot to tell her who’s she gay for 

**Cola** \- ~~I’m gay for the sexy fish from shark tale~~

_**Cola has deleted a message** _

**whílliam** \- WHAT THE FUCK

**Blegh** \- IS THAT A THING I THOUGHT IT WAS A FEVER DREAM 

**whílliam** \- brb i’m going to wash my eyes i hate you guys 

**Cola** \- idk what happened?

**Blegh** \- I don’t like you anymore 

**Cola** \- father why have you forsaken me 

**Blegh** \- I’ll buy you a pony and a new purse I’m so sorry I love you

**Cola** \- I want a chocolate factory 

**Blegh** \- of course veruca darling 

**whílliam** \- you spoil her 

**Cola** \- no he doesn’t 

**whílliam** \- here i thought a veruca was a type of wart one gets on one's foot 

**Blegh** \- no thats a funion 

**Cola** \- no thats the type of chip

**Blegh** \- something is very wrong 

**Cola** \- wait

**Blegh** \- WILLIAM LEFT

**Cola** \- OUR ONLY BRAIN CELL

**Blegh** \- welp

**Cola** \- WE’RE SMALL BRAIN

**Blegh** \- im gonna go eat my collection of christmas lip smackers

**whílliam** \- no 

**Blegh** \- no then 

_**‘useless gang’** _

**Hester** \- whos the cutie laying next the vending machine with the pikahu skirt on 

**Hort** \- bahahabahhahahbaha hdidfjfjfufh HESTER 

**Blossom** \- oh my god she doesn’t know

**Dot** \- PFTTTT 

**Hester** \- what 

**Hester** \- why is everyone laughing at me 

**Dot** \- OH MY GOD 

**Hester** \- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON DOT 

**Reena** \- don’t yell but you aren’t gonna believe who it is 

**Hester** \- where the fuck is anadil.

**Reena** \- ... I said no yelling 

**Hort** \- BAHAHAHAH

**Hort** \- hester checking some random chick out and finding out it’s anadil and making death noise is comedy PEAK 

**Hester** \- it’s gonna be comedy peak when i stuff you into a beans container

**Blossom** \- It's okay Hester one time I came up behind Agatha and hugged her but it turned out to be Lesso 

**Dot** \- press f for respect 

**Reena** \- you will live on in our hearts 

**Bobbles** \- Yes, Because I Look Just Like Lesso 

**Blossom** \- I DIDN'T HAVE MY GLASSES ON 

**Bobbles** \- oh sweetheart. 

**Nick** \- We have more important issues at hand 

**Reena** \- like what 

**Nick** \- what's obamas last name 

**Reena** \- Obama care 

**Chaddick-** Obama Obama 

**Nick** \- oh okay thanks

**Nick** \- oh and also Hester and Hort are missing but seriously what's Obamas last name 

**Dot** \- I have taken Anadils phone so she doesn’t read Hester’s messages. 

**Dot** \- Originally I said no because I wanted Anadil to read them but Hester said some potty words so here I am 

**Dot** \- looking at all of Anadils saved pictures of anime girls 

**Reena** \- would it be such a bad thing? I’m tired of all this pining and I just want a victory for at least ONE of these oblivious jackasses 

**Nick** \- reena you canNOT talk 

**Nick** \- now hush 

**Nick** \- let the people with confidence do the ship planning 

**Reena** \- thats it Nick

**Reena** \- fucking. bring. it. on. 

**Nick** \- Oh you’re a villain alright, just not a super one 

**Reena** \- what does that even mean 

**Nick** \- do you seriously not know what that’s from 

**Reena** \- I do not. 

**Nick** \- okay movie night guys but this time we watch Megamind 

**Ravan** \- What’s going on I found Hort in the bathroom shivering 

**Nick** \- did you give him the sweater you guys are always sharing  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Ravan** \- NICK 

**Nick** \- okok it’s complicated 

**Reena-** so basically, 

**Reena** \- hester totally checked out anadil 

**Nick** \- BUT SHE DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS ANADIL 

**Reena** \- That's right she didn’t know

**Nick** \- and everyone was laughing or scared for their lives because those two are scary-

**Reena** \- And Hort called it comedy peak 

**Nick** \- so hester said she’ll stuff him full of beans because _that’s_ comedy peak 

**Reena** \- No Nick, she said she’ll stuff him  _ in  _ a bean can because that’s comedy peak 

**Nick** \- oh right, sorry! 

**Reena** \- It’s quite alright, but then Agatha and Tedros started doing that cute- old married couple play fighting thing they do 

**Nick** \- and we couldn’t figure out what obamas last name is-

**Reena** \- and thats when hort disappeared- 

**Nick** \- and dot took anadils anime girls-

**Ravan** \- Ok great thanks guys I totally understand everything now no need to bring the anime girls into this 

**Reena** \- happy to help 😊

**Reena** \- anyways nick, 

**Reena** \- challenge accepted

**Nick-** press x to doubt 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally getting a move on with the ships I see. No, this isn't gonna be just memes I'm sorry to disappoint


	6. what in the hot crispy kentucky fried heck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had this brilliant idea of Nicophie in a school play because Sophie is a total theater kid no matter what she say and Nicola is "Perfect for the role of the Princess cause I said so" according to Sophie and they would spend weeks doing the play together, acting and taking charge together and Nicola's like SOPHIE I LOVE YOU PLEASE LOVE ME and Sophie's like, shit, she should smile more, that's super cute. Its before opening night and Sophie is panicking because she just needs it to be perfect, she's about to break down and Nicola hates that Sophie is saying bad things about the play they both loved so she just goes for it, and she kisses her but Sophie is too surprised to respond and Nicola is hurt and she says something like "I'm sorry, I just- I know you'll do great" (I think about this alot) and someone calls for a stunned Sophie because the curtains are opening and lights are dimming and she dazedly does her part, but she can't look away from Nicola, who's feeling vertigo but performs as well as she can. 
> 
> And there's a standing ovation, and the two come out in front of the crowd and when they join hands, the world stops rocking. 
> 
> Maybe I'll write it anyways, corona can't stop me

**‘useless gang’**

**Chaddick-** you guys hear the news 

**Anadil** \- yep. 

**Chaddick** \- this is some bullshit 

**Nick** \- they called it an extended spring break 

**Anadil** \- wonder if we’ll be coming back at all 

**Chaddick** \- hngh this sucks can we have a rona party 

**Nick** \- only if we stand four feet apart 

**Anadil** \- I actually think it’s six feet 

**Bobbles** \- it is lmao rip 

**Chaddick** \- guys. for some freaking reason i care about all of you weirdos. Wash your hands, take your vitamins, be safe, we’ll be fine. 

**Bobbles-** what a wholesome princess. love ya chaddick

**Anadil** \- and also stay six feet apart

**Anadil** \- sorry agatha, chaddick, must be rough

**Chaddick** \- No, I’m Sorry Anadil!

**Chaddick** \- [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4F3J5zFM8M ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4F3J5zFM8M)

**Anadil** \- i FUCKING hate you IT WAS A PHASE WHY 

**Chaddick** \- April fucking Fools

**Nick** \- You both ruined a really good song. You took it and ruined it. You fucked it up. Look, it has anxiety. 

**Bobbles** \- **_WRESTLE WITH JIMMY_ ** something is bubheheheheing behind my back 

**Blossom** \- ….

**Blossom** \- yeah i’m logging back off, peace 

**Bobbles** \- tedros hates jimmy neutron and weezer 

**Blossom** \- Carl will never get Jimmy’s mom and that's a FACT 

**Nick** \- *high pitched* SAY IT AIN’T SOOWHOAWHOAWHOA 

**Bobbles-** JIMMY’S MOM IS A HEARTBREAKER 

**Nick** \- This sounds like Chaddick singing in the shower

**Chaddick** \- i’m guessing you didn’t like my rendition of tequila 

**Nick** \- Nope. Not at all

**Chaddick** \- I’m sorry. But you know what they say…. 

**Chaddick** -denial….. is not just a river in egypt 

**Blossom-** who says that 

**Nick** \- I’m taking away your TV privileges 

**Bobbles** \- Jimmy Neutron night at tedros house who’s in 

**Blossom** \- yeah, not me 

**Blossom** \- wait one fucking second 

**Anadil** \- I’m down 

**Anadil** \- This WAYYYY*screaming* IS A WATERSLIDE 

**Blossom** \- Stop it. Get some help. 

**Hort** \- SAY IT AIN’T SOOOOOO 

**Hort** \- Only if we all come in anime girl facemasks 

**Blossom** \- lets just do it over facetime 

**_Bobbles has changed their username to Carl Wheezer_ **

**Carl Wheezer-** You dare disrespect me 

**Blossom** \- STOP IT 

**Carl Wheezer** \- kiss me my love 

**Ravan** \- I’m just gonna go… home... away 

**_Carl Wheezer has changed their username to Bobbles_ **

**Bobbles** \- Wait no I’m sorry I lost myself for a moment. 

**Anadil** \- anyways 

**Anadil** \- whoever talks next I will sic Hester on you 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little filler chapter.


	7. feel free to skip this chapter

**‘useless gang’**

  
  


**Hort** \- SOPHIESOPHIESHOPHIE 

**Hort** \- SOPHIEEEEEE

**Hort** \- WHERE IS SHE 

**Hort** \- SUMMON HER

**Anadil** : This is legitimate emergency I need Sophie to come online right now 

**Ravan** \- Actually, yeah

**Nicola** : whats going on? Are you guys on drugs? 

**Anadil** \- we need to ask Sophie a question

**Nicola** \- It’s Sophie on Nicola’s phone. 

**Anadil** \- um

**Ravan** \- *miranda cosgrove meme* Interesting. 

**Hort** \- we will talk about this new development later anyways SOPHIE

**Hort** \- we know your secret 

**Nicola** \- Oh noo please no 

**Nicola-** Yeah, everyone does 

**Hort** \- how could you not brag about this to us 

**Ravan** \- I feel like you would usually brag about this 

**Anadil-** I mean I always knew you were a theatre nerd underneath all the obnoxiously bright eyeshadow 

**Nicola-** First of all, that's a lie because Hairspray was just a phase, second of all, what are you talking about?

**Hort** \- NO SOPHIE, WHAT ARE _YOU_ TALKING ABOUT 

**Ravan** \- [image sent]

**Nicola** \- Holy shit 

**Anadil** \- do you have a secret twin that came out of nowhere but makes sort of sense? 

**Nicola** \- holy shit 

**Buttahcup** \- That looks like an uglier me 

**Anadil** \- What? no , she looks just like you normally 

**Nicola** \- I think she’s pretty 

**Buttahcup** \- An offbrand me but thanks luv

**Ravan** \- You could be sisters 

**Buttahcup** \- There’s only one 

**Buttahcup** \- who is this?

**Anadil** \- her name is jessica rothe

**Hort** \- she’s in Happy deathday

**Hort** \- We’re catching up on horror movies 

**Sophie** \- I need Agatha I’m having an identity crisis. 

**Ravan** \- Just cause she looks like you doesn’t mean she is you 

**Buttahcup** \- SAYS THE ACTUAL GUY FROM VICTORIOUS 

**Buttahcup** \- I NEED AGGIE

**Anadil** \- Okay okay, we’ll get her, no need to yell 

**Anadil** \- ahem 

**Anadil** \- Hayley Williams new songs are bad 

**Bobbles** \- WHO 

**Bobbles** \- whO tHE PHCUK 

**Bobbles** \- How Dare You

**Buttahcup** \- AGATHA 

**Buttahcup** \- I just found out there is not one of me in the Earth

**Bobbles** \- Okay, just cause this Rothe chick looks sort of like you doesn’t mean she is you 

**Bobbles** \- She may share some very attractive qualities with you, but there is only one Sophie. 

**Bobbles** \- also, she’s taller than you 

**Buttahcup** \- I am aware of the fact she’s not me, obviously I was just extremely jealous of her good look. Thank you darling! 

**Bobbles** \- I-

**Bobbles** \- I never know with you 

**Hort** \- okay well now that thats over with 

**Hort** \- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Buttahcup** \- I’m not taking any questions 

**Anadil** \- good cause I have a lot 

**Anadil** \- Hairspray? 

**Hort** \- Nicolas phone?

**Ravan-** Guy from Victorious? 

**Buttahcup** \- I’ll never tell 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know if you guys know this but I'm a huge horror movie fan and I was thinking about writing a Happy Deathday au because the character that jessica rothe played reminded me a lot of Sophie. But I've been thinking about writing a bunch of prompts an hardly have so *shrugs*
> 
> edit: oh yeah and I saw this really, really beautiful collage on tumblr of Ravan and it used this picture Avan Jogia as him so now that is my mental image of the best greasy demon boy
> 
> another edit: you guys should see the movie it's really good ok sorry bye


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i wonder how long my writing phase will last before i start crashing and wasting away in bed 
> 
> eh might as well get it all out

**Private Messaging- Beatrix and Reena**

**Reena** \- Hey we haven’t talked in a few days and I just wanted to know if you’re alright? 

**Beatrix** \- I am fan-fucking-tastic

 **Beatrix** \- I’m sorry that was mean i just miss you you know 

**Beatrix** \- I miss the whole gang i hate being stuck at home by myself

 **Reena** \- I miss you too Bea, it’s weird going so long without seeing you 

**Beatrix** \- yeah it is, being isolated for so long is gonna drive me crazy 

**Reena** \- Don’t go getting Jack Torrance on me 

**Beatrix** \- I hate that I understand that reference 

**Reena** \- Thanks to our friends

 **Reena** \- I’m sorry we can’t watch a movie tonight

 **Beatrix** \- shit 

**Beatrix** \- Well we can facetime? 

**Reena** \- i don’t think that would work well but we can try 

**Beatrix** \- goddammit you’re so picky 

**Reena** \- Oh honey, we haven’t even agreed on a movie yet. My pickyiness is hardly beginning to show 

**Beatrix** \- you’re the worst to choose movies with 

**Reena** \- Let’s watch Tarzan 

**Beatrix** \- ...no 

**Beatrix** \- you’re totally doing this on purpose 

**Reena** \- I don’t get why you hate the movie so much 

**Beatrix** \- I just 

**Beatrix** \- Phill Collins 

**Reena** -... is that all? 

**Beatrix** \- Yes. 

**Reena** \- Well in that case 

**Reena** \- (drum noise) I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT 

**Reena** \- OH LORD 

**Beatrix-** Stop it for the love of all things holy I’ll do anything

 **Reena-** anything? 

**Beatrix** \- anything

**‘useless gang’**

**Reena** \- [image sent]

**Chaddick** \- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS 

**Reena** \- What does it look like? 

**Chaddick** \- It looks like Beatrix dressed up as a bill cipher from gravity falls, by maybe I'm going crazy 

**Hester** \- Holy fucking shit 

**Hort** \- Oh how the mighty have fallen! I always knew this day would come, but tis so much better than I always imagined! The great beast has fallen

**Beatrix** \- Reena made me alright shut up 

**Reena** \- You look adorable 

**Beatrix** \- well I better 

**Hort** \- This is really, really, really, the highlight of my day

**_Blossom has changed their username to Tedros_ **

**Tedros** \- holy flipping crap 

**Tedros** \- so this is a thing 

**Chaddick** \- Beatrix

**Chaddick** \- would you like to join the cartoon boys gang 

**Beatrix** \- hell no this is a one time thing

**Tedros** \- please c’mon we get pineapple and peach rings every Friday 

**Dot** \- yeah and on sundays we stream cartoons 

**Beatrix** \- wait really? You guys have events? 

**Tedros** \- Yeah and on tuesdays we harass agatha until she does the teen titans theme song in her special voice 

**Beatrix** \- :0 

**Beatrix** \- okok yes I’m in 

**Dot** \- welcome (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ To (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ the cool kids club (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

**Hort** \- is this why I found you guys watching danny phantom in the bathroom back in february 

**Chaddick** \- Yeth 

**Hort** \- dope 

**Kiko** \- Can I join the cartoon boys gang? 

**Tedros** \- depends, whats the best adventure time ship?

**Kiko** \- Bubbline of course, I’m not a savage 

**Dot** \- CORRECT DING DING DING 

**Chaddick** \- WELCOME TO THE CARTOON BOYS GANG 

**Tedros** \- I’m not sure what to do now we can’t binge cartoons 

**Chaddick** \- I’ll host a metastream where we watch non stop cartoons because thats the best we can do these days pm ya the link

**Kiko** \- sending virtual hugs and snacks to all of you (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

**Hort** \- You guys aren’t gonna believe this but we got freaking snowed in.

**Tedros** \- who got snowed in? 

**Hort** \- Okay, well, ravan and anadil were only supposed to come over to play just dance 3 and watch movies on friday but then it started snowing 

**Hort** \- anadil took over the bathroom so she could ft hester and ravan is sleeping in the living room and the snow is really piling up and there’s no way to drive if it keeps snowing like this 

**Beatrix** \- well thats sounds fun 

**Beatrix** \- but seriously I’m watching the snow and where the FUCK is it coming from FUCK snow FUCK 

**Reena** \- Ok chill

**Reena** \- it’s not you were born to work for the snow and the snow took your offspring in exchange for your freedom and you owe the snow thirty seven years of your life and you have to train an underground army to get your child back from the villainous snow who actually is raising your child well because they realized they loved you but they let you go because it wasn’t right if they didn’t but when the final battle comes you don’t know if you’re strong enough to take on the snow but actually you don't have to because they end up surrundering and elevating to a higher status after releasing everyone they trapped

**Reena-** how was it 

**Tedros** \- meh too many plot holes 

**Beatrix** \- I digged it 

**Kiko** \- Snow is just fun the first few times, but it’s annoying now. I'm tired of wearing sweaters. I miss my skirts

**Beatrix-** mood 

**Hort** \- Weekend in with the homies 

**Hort** \- They’ll probably end up summoning a demon or something so we can do the four person dance on just dance 

**Hort** \- I’m gonna go take a nap later guys 

**Tedros** \- Its eleven man you should just go to sleep 

**Hort** \- I can’t we made plans to make kool aid and watch the Kingsmen movies at four

**Hort** \- lets hope I make it to easter anadil said she would go to the store to get jellybeans 

**Beatrix** \- somehow, me and Reena ended up watching the phineas and ferb movie on discord

**Kiko** \- at least it’s not sharkboy and lavagirl like last time 

**Beatrix** \- hey it was on netflix whatcha gonna do? 

**Kiko-** not... not watch it? 

**Beatrix** \- yes but no 


	9. whats this an actual plot in my good story

**_‘Vex is totally not an elf’_ **

**Hester** \- so i was watching good omens because I guess I’m the only person on this godforsaken chat who hasn’t and i really don’t get ineffable husbands

**GreenSkittle** \- wdym 

**Hester** \- who bottoms 

**GreenSkittle** \- Bruhhh hester 

**Mike Wazowski** \- Holy shit hester just come right on out with it 

**Hester** \- I thought we said no more usernames after we added you back archane 

**Mike Wazowski-** this is my actual name leave me alone mom it says so on my birth receipt 

**GreenSkittle** \- okay well obviously crowley is a top 

**Mike Wazowski-** Objection, the court says no and you are wrong Mona

**GreenSkittle** \- what you wanna fight 

**Mike Wazowski-** hell yeah you wanna go 

**GreenSkittle** \- alright let's go !

**Mike Wazowski-** alright let's go out!!

**GreenSkittles** \- out on a date!

**Mike Wazowski-** do you want to get married huh tough guy?!

**GreenSkittle-** DO YOU WANT KIDS

**Sex** \- who the _fuck_ did this 

**GreenSkittle** \- (✿´‿`)

**Mike** **Wazowski** \- pft bahaHAHA

**Hester** \- Should I get some coloring books for you goddamn five year olds 

**Sex** \- real mature guys quick change it back before ravan makes fun of me 

**Ravan** \- what’s up ‘sex’

**Sex** \- *cries* you’re not my dad you can’t make fun of me 

**Ravan** \- Thank god for that 

**_Sex has changed their username to Vex_ **

**Vex** \- I hate all of you except dot 

**O** \- I feel like they both have switch vibes and thanks Vex 

**Hurt** \- ya yeet anyways has anyone seen I am not okay with this 

**Hester** \- that show’s good.

**Hester** \- the ending was super surprising though i liked it 

**Hurt** \- i love those chaotic kiddos so much

**Hester** \- same man sophia lillis is the best 

**Hurt** \- wait, who did this 

**Vex** \- all I’ve been doing is playing overwatch and watching what we do in the shadows for three straight days. my mom legit forgot i existed. 

**Anadill** **Pickle** \- thats a good movie to watch over quarantine, write that down 

**Anadill** **Pickle** \- Fitting username however but when I find out who did this and if I ever get out of this prison, someone’s going down. 

**Mike Wazowski-** horts house is like the opposite of prison bro he has all of the lotr movies 

**Hurt** \- and the hobbit 

**Mike** **Wazowski** \- point proven

**Anadill** **Pickle** \- prison log, day two. This domesticity is making my body backfire. If I don’t escape soon, I might get out of this… a better person

**Vex** \- so hows married life you two 

**Hurt** \- Oh it’s fantastic. 

**Ravan** \- He microwaved eight marshmallows for breakfast 

**Hurt** \- They were peeps, you uneducated bully-

**Mike** **Wazowski** \- oop

**Ravan-** ? Finish it??

**Hurt** \- You’re sitting like, four feet away from me, I don’t wanna 

**Ravan** \- oh hey it's hort i didn't see you there

**Hurt-** he just fucking waved at me wtf 

**Anadill** **Pickle** \- hester come save me from these two I can only hide in the pillow fort for so long 

**Hester** -[image sent]

**Hester** \- I’m also a prisoner

**Mike** **Wazowski** \- OF FEAR 

**Mike** **Wazowski** \- nah i’m kidding thats a lot of snow lol

**O** \- It’s like christmas except it’s in 4/20 

**Hester** \- Who told her about that

**Anadill** **Pickle** \- whos being a bad influence on my daughter 

**O** \- Kiko told me ｡◕‿◕｡

**Anadill** **Pickle** \- stop lying and tell us the truth 

**Hurt** \- thats not even possible 

**O-** you have no idea what's possible mortal 

  
  


**Private Conversation- Sophie and Nicola**

**Sophie** \- Hi. 

**Nicola** \- Hey??

**Sophie** \- sorry that was a really awkward hi

**Sophie** \- I just wanted to say I had a really fun time yesterday 

**Nicola-** So did I, oddly enough 

**Nicola** \- Wait, was a weird thing to say? 

**Sophie** \- This is so awkward 

**Nicola** \- It is omg I’m sorry 

**Nicola** \- Do you wanna come over tomorrow? My dad’s just gonna be at work and my brothers are probably gonna be playing halo all day so it’s gonna be quiet and boring

**Nicola** \- unless you come over I meant, it won’t be boring 

**Sophie** \- I would love to! I’ll bring my macbook if you want to watch the show again, or we could find something else to do if you don't want to do that 

**Sophie** \- ugh i’m so sorry i sound so dumb 

**Sophie** \- i’m just panicking for some reason 

**Nicola** \- I’m panicking too Sophie, I can hardly tell that you are 

**Sophie** \- We’re just a mess. A big mess. 

**Nicola** \- Is there any right way to do this though? 

**Sophie** \- I couldn’t tell you , the last person I dated was a  _ guy _ . 

**Nicola** \- Wait, what? 

**Sophie** \- I

**Sophie** \- Fuck that’s not what we were talking about, was it? 

**Nicola** \- How about this, how about you come over tomorrow and we’ll talk about it _ in person.  _ Because this is super important, even to me, you know?

**Sophie** \- That sounds splendid. Way better idea. 

**Nicola** \- Dope, I’ll see you at nine. Or whenever you want. Anytime works.

**Nicola** \- You could probably come over at six in the morning and I wouldn’t mind 

**Nicola** \- Is that a weird thing to say? 

**Sophie** \- Only considering the fact I wake up at six to do my makeup, not weird at all 

**Nicola** \- not weird at all 

**Private Conversation- Aggy and Sophie**

**Sophie** \- I need your help 

**Aggy** \- With what do I need to get the baseball bat out

**Sophie** \- GIRLS 

**Aggy** \- oof blow up her house on minecraft 

**Sophie** \- AGGIEEEE

**Aggy** \- I’m sorry sorry what do you need help with 

**Sophie** \- okay so you know how me and nicola live on the same block and I would drive her home? so we've been hanging out a lot more lately and the other day she fell asleep when we were watching this dumb cooking show and we CUDDLED it was so eihduefhqfuefhq

**Sophie** \- ok I'm okay 

**Sophie** \- Which musical song do I sing in order to ask to be my girlfriend because I was thinking Dear Evan Hansen or Heathers

**Aggy** \- None Sophie life isn’t a musical where you sing a song you gotta talk about it 

**Aggy** \- and do not do fucking Heathers jesus 

**Sophie** \- Oh god oh fuck

**Aggy** \- I’m sure Nicola is just as nervous as you 

**Sophie** \- She’s the best Aggy, she really is. She was like “you could come over at any time and i wouldn’t mind’ and I MELTED LIKE THE WITCH IN WIZARD OF OZ

**Aggy** \- That’s freaking adorable sophie, nicola has some _**GAME**_ BRO

**Sophie** \- I’m just nervous about going over and talking it over. I was never this scared before. 

**Aggy** \- I’m sorry, that’s so adorable. Sophie, I promise you, things are so much simpler then you may think at first. There’s a million ways it could go but however it goes, you live and u learn and you go in there headfirst and you end up with something valuable, any of the million ways. You've been nervous before. Everything's going to be ok ತ_ತ

**Sophie** \- ugh i love you so fricking much aggie, thank you for that

**Sophie** \- im not sure about that emoji though

**Aggy** \- ┐(´ー｀)┌

**Sophie** \- You’re right, I’m going all in after this girl, and I’m gonna end up something I didn’t have before. 

**Aggy** \- YES YOU ARE 

**Sophie** \- YES I AM 

**Sophie** \- Now help me pick out every individual aspect of my outfit 

**Aggy** \- erm

**Aggy** \- i can’t my moms sleeping 

**Sophie** - _WAKE HER UP_ THEN THIS IS IMPORTANT 

  
  


**Private Conversation- Nicola and Nick**

**Nicola** \- aHHHHHH

**Nick** \- did you ask her 

**Nicola** \- AHHHHHH

**Nick** \- Nice 

  
  


**Private Conversation- Nick and Reena**

**Nick** \- so that’s one couple down, wbu 

**Reena** \- FUCK 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's technically not anymore but hey what can i say i'm always late 
> 
> also I've really been in this sophie and nicola mood lately and I really got to get a move on already with this ships but i have some chapters typed out and they're going to be wild man   
> 😇


	10. the cartoon gang boys gathering (and chadnick)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and chadnick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which Reena needs to get a move on, chaddick and nick plan their futures and miss each other, the boys assemble, dot is faced with a difficult task, and Beatrix really is the best.

**Reena** \- FUCK I FORGOT 

**Nick** \- Too busy with Bea huh 

**Reena** \- Don’t you have a boyfriend or something? 

**Nick** \- Yes why did he say something what did he say whats going on

**Reena** \- Why don’t you text him and leave me to plot?

**Nick** \- FINE I WILL 

**Reena** \- FINE 

**Nick** \- FINE 

  
  


**Private Conversation- Chaddick and Nick**

**Nick** \- Hi. 

**Nick-** I miss you. Again. Even though we just talked like, a minute ago 

**Chaddick** \- i know it’s hard going longer than a week without seeing my gorgeous face

**Chaddick** \- but it’s even harder going so long without seeing your gorgeous face

**Nick** \- ༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ you’re so cheesy 

**Chaddick** \- you really need to stop sending those it’s scaring me 

**Nick** \- when all of this is over you better believe we’re going to walmart together 

**Chaddick** \- I MISS OUR WALMART DATE NIGHTS AJSJKAJASJAHGDDKS

**Nick** \- ik im with you babe 

**Nick** -what are you wearing?

**Chaddick** \- orange socks 

**Nick** \- are they fuzzy?

**Chaddick** \- Yes

**Nick** \- Thats...hot 

**Chaddick** \- No they’re warm 

**Nick** \- *breathes in*

**Nick** \- *forgets to breathe out* 

**Nick** \- *becomes unconscious* 

**Chaddick** \- What did I do?

**Chaddick** \- is this some weird kinky thing?

**Chaddick** \- why have you done this 

**Chaddick** \- wait nick pls you’re the finn to my poe 

**Chaddick** \- I love you… sniff sniff 

**Nick** \- correct answer, you’re babey <3

**Nick** \- sorry all of my amazon packages came and now i have a sword 

**Chaddick** \- A REAL SWORD?????

**Nick** \- A REAL SWORD 

**Chaddick** \- NOW WE CAN RUN AWAY TOGETHER TO THE COUNTRYSIDE, HAVE A FARM, AND A SMALL COTTAGE AND HAVE A GOAT AND GROW OLD TOGETHER 

**Nick** \- THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING BABE 

**Chaddick** \- god you’re the best 

**Nick** \- no, you’re the best 

**Chaddick** \- No, you’re babey

**Nick** \- no u

**Chaddick** \- reverse card 

**Nick** \- reverse of the reverse

  
  


**Tedros has made a chat titled ‘cartoon boys gang’**

**Tedros has invited Chaddick, Dot, Kiko, and Beatrix to ‘cartoon boys gang’**

**Beatrix-** YOOOOO wait 

**Beatrix** \- did you guys really not have chat before me and kiko joined 

**Tedros-** no we did we just decided to add you guys 

**Beatrix** \- so why not invite us to the old one 

**Tedros-....**

**Tedros-** username time 

**Chaddick** \- ooh ooh ooh dibs dibs on johnny bravo

**Tedros** \- you bitch i wanted johnny bravo this time 

**Chaddick** \- Aw let me press f on the worlds smallest keyboard 😔

**Beatrix** \- I want mandy from the grim adventures of billy and mandy

**Dot** \- Hi I would like chocoberry for obvious reasons thank you 

**Tedros** \- I need one of these youngins to help me change the names 

**Beatrix** \- god you're old teddy just do it gosh 

**Kiko** \- can i has buford from phineas and ferb 

**Tedros** \- why… would you want Buford 

**Kiko-** I can't have Buford? 🥺

**Dot** \- dont opress her give her Buford 

**Tedros-** hey np just asking 

**Tedros-** who am I supposed to be

**Beatrix-** you can be ron from Kim possible 

**Tedros** \- does that make Agatha Kim 

**Dot** \- new au !

**Chaddick** \- don't kid yourselves everyone knows tedros is that surfer dude from total drama island 

**Tedros** \- wait 

**Tedros-** WHAT WAS HIS NAME 

**Beatrix** \- it was like brody or something like that

**Chaddick-** it was Brigette 

**Beatrix** \- THATS THE GIRL SURFER 

**Kiko** \- I don't remember there ever being a surfing dude?? 

**Beatrix** \- was he a frat boy? 

**Tedros** \- I one hundred percent am a frat boy

**Beatrix** \- hey tedros we get it we know you're bi

**Kiko** \-  _ we got the memo _

**Chaddick** \- remember when tedros had a crush on yara

**Chaddick-** that was hilarious 

**Beatrix-** 😒 I had a crush on Yara, he ain't special 

**Kiko** \- everyone had a crush on Yara, they had great biceps 

**Tedros** \- true true agatha also has nice biceps 

**Beatrix** \- not saying i’ve looked or anything but that’s also very true 

**_Tedros has changed Chaddick's username to Johnny Bravo_ **

**Dot** \- wait chaddick?? you're not blonde 

**Johnny** **Bravo** \- hey thats rude we're both big, buff, strong lads with great hair 

**Beatrix** \- _cough_ _cough_ himbo _cough_ _cough_ _COUGH VIOLENT HACKING_

**Beatrix** \- whew sorry bout that guys something came over me 

**Johnny Bravo-** what's a himbo 

**_Tedros has changed Beatrix's username to Mandy_ **

**_Tedros has changed Dot's username to Chocoberry_ **

**_Tedros has changed Kiki's username to Buford_ **

**_Tedros has changed their username to Fred Jones_ **

**Mandy** \- i’m proud you came up with that 

**Fred Jones-** thank you, so am I 

**Buford** \- this is... beautiful thank you 

**Chocoberry** \- so what’s next? 

**Johnny Bravo-** anyone want to play truth or dare? 

**Mandy** \- two himbos, one lesbian and two sweethearts play dare or dare 

**Mandy** \- this will turn out good 

**Fred Jones-** I’M NOT A HIMBO DONT GROUP ME IN WITH HIM 

**Johnny Bravo-** hey i said truth or dare bea :((

**Buford-** if you think about it really hard... everyone is a bit of a himbo

**Mandy** \- *sigh* 

**Mandy** \- I GUESS 

**Chocoberry-** the last time i played truth or dare i ended up on top of the fridge so how about let's not do this 

**Mandy-** thats bc u were playing with hester 

**Mandy-** we're nicer 

**Buford-** [this house is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13o964zTb0s)

**Chocoberry-** well... i guess 

**Chocoberry-** but absolutely no kissing 

**Mandy-**.... 

**Buford-** ....

**Johnny Bravo-** ...

**Mandy-** sure.

**‘useless gang’**

**Dot** \- LISTEN TO ME BECAUSE I’LL ONLY SAY IT ONCE 

**Dot** \- TWILIGHT IS A COMEDY FIRST AND A ROMANCE SECOND 

**Dot** \- thank you 

**Chaddick** \- sir this a wendys 

**Beatrix** \- go the F U C K to bed dot you need to sleep 

**Dot** \- hey you arent my mom you can’t tell me what to do 

**Beatrix** \- @Hester 

**Dot** \- oh FRICK

**Chaddick** \- late night squad?

**Beatrix-** chaddick what are you even doing? 

**Chaddick** \- um 

**Chaddick** \- ahah

  
  


**(cont) Private Conversation- Chaddick and Nick**

**Chaddick** \- no you are 😤🥺

**Nick** \- can you hear that?

**Nick** \- it's you being very wrong 

**Chaddick** \- *listens* 

**Chaddick** \- *listens*

**Chaddick** \- nope don't hear it 

**Chaddick** \- you must be imagining things 

**Nick-** how about no

**Chaddick** \- yes

**Nick-** nuh uh 

**Chaddick** \- yuh huh 

**Nick-** nuh uh 

**Chaddick-** you’re like, SEVEN 

**Nick** \- yeah, well you’re like, SIX 

**Chaddick** \- you’re FIVE 

**Nick** \- well you’re a FOUR year old BABY 

**Chaddick** \- OH YEAH WELL HERE I GO CRYING LIKE A BABY 

**Nick** \- wait no babe pls 

**Chaddick-** you're THREE! THREE!

**Nick** \- OH YEAH? 

  
  


**_‘Vex is totally not an elf’_ **

**Ravan** \- Rest in peace Hort, again 

**Ravan** \- he’s not dead but he’s about to be 

**Hurt** \- FUCIFHJJDIHUDFHASJDAH GOTTA FO FASTG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so anyways,
> 
> i'm writing hestadil 
> 
> because i can't keep up with my wips for the life of me 
> 
> yayyyy


	11. ‘Maybe never will be our always 😳🥺 jk jk unless…?’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter be wildin

**GreenSkittle** \- squEEZE HIM JAFAR 

**Anadill Pickle-** I CAN'T STAND THIS ANYMORE ALL THEY DO IS FIGHT AND STUFF 

**Hurt** \- SOMEBKDH CAKL 911 HALPMEIMGONNADY

**O** \- THE NINE BUTTON IS BROKEN

**Hurt** \- RHTRUN THE SIX BTOTUN UPSDIE DWON

**Heater** \- the fuck is going on here

**O** \- THATS NOT OKAY HESTER WE HAVE A THING GOING ON 

**Heater** \- sorry, sorry 

**Heater** \- THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE 

**O** \- THANK YOU 

**GreenSkittle** \- THANK YOU

**Mike Wazowski** - _ my mum took away my ipod away because she heard me listen to fallout boy and she doesn’t like the fact that i’m emo _

**GreenSkittle** \- thats rough buddy 

**Mike** **Wazowski** \- this is not the time for atla references 

**GreenSkittle** \- MY CABBAGEEEEEEE

**Hurt** \- so I'm a roof

**Hurt** \- gang gang 

**Hurt** \- I meant I'm on a roof 

**Hurt** \- not that i am one whoops 

**Heater** \- what led to hort being a roof? 

**Anadill** **Pickle** \- hort was big dumb and he ate all of the nearly naked popcorn 

**Mike** **Wazowski** \- what in the h e double hockey sticks fuck shidded is naked popcorn 

**Anadill Pickle-** [image sent] 

**Mike Wazowski** \- THAT IS A BIG BOI OF POPCORN

**Anadill Pickle-** and that was the only food we were planning on eating for the rest of quarantine cuz Hort only had anime girl face masks and I'm not going to the store wearing those again it was embarrassing once 

**Hurt** \- no one appreciates art in this house :( 

**Ravan** \- You think that framed picture of llamas with hats is art

**Hurt** \- IT IS 

  
  


**Private Conversation- Reena and Hester**

**Reena** \- okay okay we can work with this hester 

**Hester** \- i just told you my life story wdym we can work with this 

**Reena** \- I mean that I know what you have to do 

  
  


**‘Maybe never will be our always 😳** **🥺 jk jk unless…?** **’**

**Heater** \- i’ll do it 

**Heater** \- who the FUCK changed the name i was gone for ONE MINUTE 

**Mike** **Wazowski** \- ma’am this a wendys 

**O-** that's what the Wendy's worker told me when I was telling her about my divorce and my lizard having kids smh 

**Anadill** **Pickle** \- Hester, whatever you are doing stop doing it 

**Heater** \- im bringing food 

**Hurt** \- does this mean I have to blow up another mattress because I'm not running a hotel for emos here ma'am

**Ravan** \- if she's bringing food she's welcome here but Hester, what about your mom?

**Hester** \- can you not bring that up i’m being a rebel 

**GreenSkittle** \- JSJSJSJS

**Ravan** \- You keysmash like a kpop stan 

**GreenSkittle** \- i stan pitbull 

**Ravan** \- Stop it 

**Hurt** \- protect GYFTCVGBHJNONJHG FCTRYTGUHINJ98777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

**Ravan** \- did you just fall of the roof 

**Ravan** \- He just fell of the roof I need to make sure he’s alive 

**Vex** \- bruh 

**Mike Wazowski** \- yes go check on him 

**Anadill Pickle-** [video sent]

**Vex** \- well at least we know horts okay i got worried for our favorite little wolf boi

**Mike** **Wazowski** \- how do you know he's ok tho 

**Vex** \- "you got me bewitched cuz I'm under your spell WHOAWHOAWHOA " and then the unholy screaming right after is how you know 

**GreenSkittle** \- and the ‘are you okay’ and the wheezy‘no im hort’

  
  


_**‘useless gang’** _

**Beatrix-** 10:10pm check up hows the gang doing 

**Tedros-** meh 

**Dot-** meh 

**Bobbles-** also meh but better 

**Dot-** hey agatha did you know that identity theft is a crime and millions of families suffer every year?

**Bobbles-** …. Meh 

**Reena-** this is just tiring yesterday i didn’t even change out of my pajamas 

**Beatrix-** Oof 

**Hester-** literally all ive been wearing are my pajamas 

**Chaddick-** you guys are getting clothes? 

**Reena-** chaddick w h y 

**Chaddick-** i broke my clothes dryer 

**Tedros-** i am not surprised 

**Chaddick-** ITS NOT MY FAULT OKAY I TRIED TO CLIMB IN IT BECAUSE I WAS BORED AND WANTED TO SEE IF IT WOULD SPIN 

**Hester-** and you broke it 

**Dot-** _I DEDICATE MY LIFE TO OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET_

**Chaddick-** YES DOT YES

**Chaddick-** i was trying to react the vine okay 

**Beatrix-** cough cough HIMBO cough cough 

**Hester-** Pfttt 100 percent

**Chaddick-** hey :’( 

**Beatrix-** its okay we love you anyways

**Beatrix-** how’s everyone else been? i feel like there should be a lot more people on 

**Nick-** i miss the homies :(( and chaddick too i guess

**Chaddick-** you’re still in the womb, HAH

**Nick-** FUCK 

**Tedros-** I also miss the boys, the week just isn’t the same without hort asking me what time it is and how to unlock his phone every three minutes 

**Hort-** hey i figured it out :( i sort of miss my job and getting out of the house though 

**Beatrix-** ik we’re in a rough spot rn guys but you’re all loved and you’re all amazing people and I know you all we can make it through this 

**Tedros-** thank you mom

**Tedros-** hit me right in the feels 

**Chaddick-** i’ll hit you right in the feels 

**Beatrix-** _chaddick_

**Chaddick-** sorry thank you mom

**Reena-** ｡◕‿‿◕｡ thank you beatrix 

**Hester-** charles darwin says thou shall not make hester cry like a little baby 

**Beatrix-** ha-ha-ha  **_p e r i s h_ **

**Hort-** no it doesn’t??

**Beatrix-** any amazing news lately guys and if any of you mention a certain book series coming back i will murDER YOU DEAD

**Hester-** :’( i don’t feel welcome here 

**Nick-** i got all the barbie movies from amazon so there's that 

**Reena-** the island one was sort of good 

**Dot-** everyone knows princess magic school was the best out of all of them 

**Reena-** TRUEEEEE

**Chaddick-** he also got a SWORD 

**Nick-** I GOT A SWORD GUYS 

**Hort-** i thought that was a legend 

**Hort-** the amazon sword legend was a bedtime story I was told as a young lad 

**Nick-** [image sent] 

**Hort-** AH OH MY GOODNESS IT IS GLORIOUS 

**Tedros-** even i have to admit that is a gorgeous specimen 

**Buttahcup-** if you guys are done fangirling over swords 

**Buttahcup-** I have a big announcement 

**Bobbles-** _yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes_

**Bobbles-** please tell us sophie because I, Agatha, your best friend, have  _ no _ idea what it is 

**Reena** \- spill the tea 

**Dot** \- please tell me you didn’t find another random guy whose name starts with a r on the street because we all know how that ends 

**Buttahcup** \- You act like I did that more than once 

**Bobbles** \- YOU DID 

**Buttahcup** \- and that’s why I don’t like guys 

**Beatrix** \- Now I'm anticipating some big news. What is it?

**Nicola** \- we’re dating 

**Buttahcup** \- I WANTED TO TELL THEM 

**Nicola** \- you were being too slow 

**Beatrix** \- that's fantastic you two, I'm extremely hecking happy! 

**Tedros** \- wait you guys weren't dating before? 

**Nicola** \- ma'AM

**Tedros** \- whatever, SUPER COOL YOU GUYS CONGRATS

**Bobbles** \- thank you, thank you. 

**Bobbles** \- YESYEYSYEYSYEYS THANK YOU 

**Nicola** \- no THANK  _ YOU _ RANDOM CITIZEN 

**Hort** \- congratulations you two, it’s about time!

**Nick** \- YAY NOW WE CAN GO ON TRIPLE DATES 

**Buttahcup** \- Hey Nick thanks for being so cool about us stealing the Power Couple of the Chat award from you 

**Nick** \- whatever you say sophie, we all know the truth

**Dot** \- that is very cash money of you both, congratulations 

**Hester** \- you all are acting like they won an oscar or something lol 

**Reena** \- wait wait wait i want to hear this story 

**Nicola** \- thank you guys its SUPER COOL 

**Nicola** \- oh she sang heathers 

**Bobbles** \- SOPHIE 

**Bobbles** \- YOU HAD ONE JOB 

**Buttahcup has changed their username to Sophie**

**Bobbles** \- since we all have BORING NAMES NOW 

**Bobbles has changed their username to Agatha**

**Nicola** \- ye she sang meant to be yours it was vv sweet 

**Agatha** \- pls tell me you're kidding meant to be yours is not sweet at ALL 

**Sophie** \- she’s KIDDING aggy i just sang the OPEN THE OPNE THE DOOR PLEASE 

**Nicola** \- ok so Sophie was like ‘nicola you have a nice head’ cause she can’t flirt for SHIT 

**Nicola** \- and then i slowly just backed into the closet and shut the door for a while 

**Hort** \- im resisting the urge to make a closet joke so hard right now

**Nick** \- same 

**Nicola-** of course

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, so you know how i was writing hestadil? 
> 
> i sort of did it?? 
> 
> it's a companion piece for this chapter, and it's about hester going to hort's house, as well as just me channeling hester, bunch of angst and feelings and dot being the best, but it's right here if you want to read it! I hope you like it if you do end up reading it. 
> 
> Companion piece: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24416311
> 
> i have a lot of unrelated wips for school of good and evil, like this road trip au and then ten things i hate about you fusion au, but this is the first one i've put out, so it's sort of wack.


	12. 1:40 am is not for sleeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this ones a blast, the gang is up late, yara finally makes an appearance, chaddick is a good boyfriend, and hort can't keep secrets, and reena is an advice god, and kiko makes good eye contact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dudes, otk was fucking WACK 
> 
> i have a lot of personal thoughts but i don't want to spoil it so i'll be as vague as possible and you guys just skip this part if you want to get to the funnies 
> 
> ok here i go
> 
> the ending was sad, i liked it but the ending of tlea hit differently  
> that hort and sophie thing was WACK  
> Chaddick and Nicola deserved better, all the (sadly) minor characters did.  
> you get the feeling when rereading the first book that soman had bigger plans for everyone else but they sort of faded away  
> i liked the Queen of Jaunt Jolie and the 11 knights, that was super cool!  
> bettina had so much potential, imagine her and tedros becoming friends again and her and agatha getting along  
> chapter 26 was the best thing ever invented in the history of mankind  
> also agatha and tedros being parents was THE CUTEST THING EVER 
> 
> I'm done, sorry if you actually choose to read this

_**'useless gang'** _

**Reena** \- sleeping kind of hits differently in June 

**Reena** \- like you start to sleep with your fan on, so everything feels cool and fresh but the airs still murky and musty and when it starts raining it feels so complete

**Reena** \- everything feels so familiar but new and light peeks out from your curtain and you wake up slowly but so surely, like you were never asleep at all 

**Chaddick** \- is this your long aesthetic way of saying you can't sleep 

**Reena** \- perhaps 

**Kiko** \- mood

**Reena** \- okay but 1:40 isn't for sleeping, it's for vibing and reflection. Like it’s the only acceptable time to listen to bedroom pop 

**Hort** \- ew bedroom pop is gross 

**Reena** \- i accept the fact that people listen to different types of music but don’t you listen to nickelback unironically?

**Hort** -.....

**Hort** \- i can’t sleep 

**Vex** \- let me help you guys out here

**Vex** \- [ https://youtu.be/xw-HMvz0ceU ](https://youtu.be/xw-HMvz0ceU)

**Vex** \- 😴

**Chaddick** \- thank you, mysterious elf illegal asmr dealer

**Vex** \- you are very welcome you modern steve harrington 

**Kiko** \- you guys know each other?

**Vex** \- i was the school mascot for like, two years straight and one time at the end of the game when we won he tried to pick me up but it failed miserably but we got hospital beds right next to each other and watched that seventies show 

**Chaddick** \- in my defense I didn’t know there was an actual human in there 

**Vex** \- iN mY dEfEnSe i DiDn’T kNoW tHeRe wAs aN aCtUaL hUmaN iN tHerE

**Chaddick** \- oh boohoo sorry about your lemur 

**Kiko** \- Momo? 

**Vex** \- iT WAS MY FEMUR 

**Reena** \- bros chill we are literally just vibing 

**Chaddick** \- i have never done anything wrong in my life, ever

**Reena** \- i know this, and i love you 

**Reena** \- now SHUT UP 

**Hort** \- so no ones really going to talk about that video vex linked 

**Hort** \- okay 

**Kiko** \- Hort I heard you fell off the roof last week, are you feeling alright? 

**Hort** \- skjdkehske I feel so special yes I'm okay 

**Vex-** you guys didn't see the video Anadil sent did you

**Hort** \- VEX NO

**Chaddick** \- I want to see 👀

**Vex** \- would you like to me uh 👉👈🥺 send it 

**Tedros** \- lowkey, yes 

**Reena-** did Hester come to your house that night? 

**Hort** \- ye how'd you know 

**Reena** \- no reasonnnnn~

**Reena** \- haven’t heard from them in a while tbh

**Hort** \- ahah yeah…..

**Reena** \- hort? Do you have a secret to tell us!?

**Hort** \- HESTER SAID I CAN’T TELL ANYONE I-

**Reena** \- oh ho ho! So you confirm there's something 

**Hort** \- fuck 

**_Hort has left ‘useless gang’_ **

**Reena** \- damn no ones done that in a long time 

**Chaddick** \- i forgot that was an option now I know how Ravan feels 

**Tedros** \- hort has left useless gang is such powerful sentence

**Chaddick** \- ok, who the FUCK is watching george lopez downstairs, I KNOW THAT THEME SONG YOU CAN’T FOOL ME 

**Chaddick** \- bet it’s caleb

**Reena** \- do not even come for him, i will protect him with my life

**Tedros-** same

**Chaddick** \- you guys like my little brother more than me :(

**Tedros-** he gives me danimials everytime i drive you guys to school, he's the reason i still pick you guys up 

**Chaddick** \- valid

**Chaddick** \- reena what happened to chilling? 

**Kiko** \- reena is chilling with murderous intent if provoked, nothing new 

**Reena** \- wait somethings off

**Reena** \- kiko’s bedtime is at exactly ten o clock pm in the NIGHT, so who are you?

**Kiko** \- um hello?? New season of she-ra ring any bells? Me and dot are streaming it together. 

**Reena** -um k, no need to get all salty over it 

**Kiko** \- catras new haircut reminds me of yara xx

**Kiko** \- miss them so much 

**Chaddick** \- literally in january we went to get aloe vera juice milk stuff and you said it reminds you of yara, wtf bro 

**Vex** \- people really be out here milking aloe veras now, no one is safe anymore. Milk just isn’t good enough :/

**Chaddick** \- why are you the smartest person on this whole entire chat 

**Vex** \- idk bro i really do be big brain doe 

**Chaddick** \- nope nope nope not anymore

**Vex** \- what was that? I’m the smartest person ever? Yeah ik

**_Reena has invited Yara to useless gang_ **

**Yara-** QUIT TELLING PEOPLE I’M DEAD KIKO

**Vex-** kiko being a troll? It’s more likely then you think 

**Dot-** kiko is secretly a troll stop exposing her hff

**Kiko-** not to start controversy but yeah 

**Vex-** ‘controversy’ are u a kpop stan or something 

**Kiko-** jsjsjs

**Yara-** merry pridemas guys 

**Reena-** you spelt gays wrong 

**Yara-** dang you’re right 

**Chaddick-** hey guys i could use some advice, and reena, i know you’re the advice god too, can you help a brother out?

**Reena-** i hate you 

**Tedros-** whats up bro 

**Chaddick** \- me and nick started dating around this time last year, and i want to make out anniversary rlly special for him, but i have no ideas and i’m super stressed. I wanted to rent out like a bowling alley or take him to disneyland or go to greece because going to greece sounds super cool but i am a very broke individual. 

**Yara** \- firestedly 

**Yara** \- CONGRATS!

**Chaddick** \- THANK YOU 

**Yara** \- secondedly 

**Vex** \- u could say secondly 

**Yara** \- hush elf 

**Vex** \- :’( sorry sugar momma

**Yara** \- i’m never buying you pastries from king soopers ever again stop calling me that 

**Tedros-** _WHEEZE_

**Yara** \- nick loves you and he would be happy simply spending time with you. Don’t stress about it bro, buy him a cupcake, write all your feelings on the prettiest card you can find, watch a movie together, go on a walk together, idk man play football or whatever sport you both do. the littlest things are so special, it doesn’t need to be big and extravagant

**Reena** \- yeah yara said it right. All that matters is that you guys are together and doing something special, you know? 

**Chaddick** \- thanks guys! I appreciate all the advice. All the things you listed sound so nice after not being able to see him for so long. I think i’m gonna drive to king soopers to try to find a pretty card and get pizza rolls later, i’m just being lazy 

**Tedros** \- dude pick me up i wanna help 

**Chaddick** \- YES three am shopping karen gang 

**Tedros-** (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

**Reena** \- sometimes couples recreate their first date, you could do that?

**Chaddick** \- our first date was nick crawling through my window and me screaming and throwing a sandal at him but like in the cute way 

**Reena** \- you guys have no chill 

**Vex** \- i think you should do that, sounds super romantic 

**_Chaddick has invited Hort to ‘useless gang’_ **

**Hort** \- i think you should make eye contact with him in the eyes, meow for like five minutes, and then proceed to lick his cheek and go to bed 

**Chaddick** \- i think you should reconsider your mating calls 

**Chaddick** \- (lowkey though but like does that work)

**Yara** \- you all are hopeless don’t do that 

**Reena** \- hort 

**Reena** \- you really said 

**Reena** \- ‘make eye contact with him in the eyes’

**Hort** \- how else do you make eye contact lol 

**Vex** \- well it’s quite simple. you take out your eyes, exchange contact information, and put them back in your sockets 

**Kiko** \- you squint hard into their eyes while slowly widening yours to assert dominance in a social territory 

**Tedro** \- guys n o 

  
  


**Private Messaging- Chaddick and Nick**

**Chaddick- b a b y**

**Chaddick-** n o t i c e m e

**Nick-** sorry my headphones were connected, i didn’t see you were calling. You ok?

**Chaddick-** guess what?

**Nick-** what?

**Chaddick-** i’m standing on your shed right outside 

**Nick-** BABE 

**Chaddick-** BABE 

  
  


**Private Messaging- Reena, Chaddick, Yara, Tedros**

**Reena-** ok we gave you a day SPILL WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO?!

**Chaddick-** i think you should ask what we didn’t do 

**Chaddick-** we didn’t end up watching a movie yet but that’s coming up 

**Chaddick** \- we didn’t bone but that’s coming up 

**Reena** \- CHADDICK 

**Yara** \- you nasTY 

**Tedros-** i can't even 

**Yara** \- was it a good day? 

**Chaddick** -It’s been a really good day. We went to the park, we had lunch, he loved my card, and i cried over his (he called me his prince[ss])!!!! we drove to the lake and just talked. We drove to my house and we’re just eating pizza rolls. You guys were right about the little things.

**Chaddick** \- thank you guys so much for everything. 

**Chaddick** \- now i have a very gorgeous boyfriend to get back to, we’re going to watch the princess bride just cause.

**Chaddick** \- and then we're gonna BONE 

**Yara** \- someone has to say it 

**Yara** \- [ BONE ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9tZEcSc1qo)?????? 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ravan is an emo cheerleader, the kiddos debate english, nicola hates minions, and tagatha are parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for the month later update, it's been hard for me to long on for longer then a few minutes lately! anyways, i realized i didn't like the direction it was going, so i deleted a lot of drafts and started over.

**_‘useless gang’_ **

**Hort-** would anyone like to see ravan with a high ponytail

**Vex-** yes 

**Sophie-** Yes

**Chaddick-** yes

**Nicola-** yes 

**Hester-** yes

**Beatrix-** yes 

**Ravan-** yOU FREAKING BETTER NOT HORT

**Hort-** [image sent]

**Hort-** whoopsies i’m so clumsy uwu

**_Beatrix has taken a screenshot_ **

**Nicola-** this is… the only image of Ravan i will ever see. When i’m looking at him, i will be looking at this picture. 

**Vex-** telling my kids this was the winter soldier 

**Sophie-** oh my god 

**Sophie-** i couldn’t have done a better job tbh congrats 

**Hester-** YOU LOOK LIKE AN EMO CHEERLEADER I’M WHEEZING 

**Hester-** GIVE ME AN I-HATE-EVERYTHING 

**Ravan-** FUCK-YOU 

**_Chaddick has taken a screenshot_ **

**Chaddick-** you know what nicola said because same. 

**Nicola-** my fellow jock, give me five 

**Chaddick-** i don’t have any money 

**Nicola-** dude.

**Beatrix-** jokes like that tend to fly over his head 

**Chaddick-** it can't fly over my head, my reflexes are too fast

**Chaddick-** I would catch it 

**Ravan-** i’m leaving the country. forever. 

**Nicola-** the picture will follow you wherever you go 

**Agatha-** sweet look dude, i dig it

**Ravan-** thank you, but never look at me ever again 

**Hort-** as his personal stylist, thank you very much

**Sophie-** didn’t you wear crocs for two years in middle school 

**Hort-** excuse me, sports mode- is the only mode *dabs*

**Nicola-** stop it. Get some help.

**Agatha-** who qualified this man 

**Beatrix-** dude agatha, where have you been? I’ve missed you and tedros 

**Beatrix-** also I agree with the jocks ponytail ravan is best ravan 

**Hort-** very true 

**Ravan-** i regret everything 

**Agatha-** okokok listen to this 

**Agatha-** we went camping with his parents and merlin

**Agatha-** oh and also merlin sleeps in trees but we’re dissect this later 

**Sophie-** of course he does 

**Agatha-** and one night, i wake up because I heard a little sniffle outside of the tent. 

**Agatha-** I thought it was tedros cause the Beauty Of The Woods just gets to him (he says crying is only acceptable when watching the emperor's new groove, in the woods, and at the grand canyon) but anyways, there’s like, a scratching sound on the metal fire pit

**Chaddick-** pls don’t tell me you went out there

**Sophie-** this sounds like friday the thirteenth seventeen 

**Sophie-** thanks for introducing me to all fifty of those hort 

**Hort-** np :D

**Agatha-** so i leave the tent 

**Chaddick-** *gasp*

**Chaddick-** am i invited to your funeral 

**Agatha-** of course! who else is going to play what is love and make the guests uncomfortable 

**Chaddick-** putting the fun in funeral 

**Nicola-** dude, what happened?!

**Agatha-** oh right i forgot about that 

**Agatha-** so i go outside, and there’s nothing, seriously. I walk around the fire pit, and there’s nothing. I stand outside for five minutes to let my eyes adjust. Guess what? Nothing. So i get back in the tent, tedros turns on the lamp (he camps in luxury ok guys he’s new to this) and i was like, what’s up and then he starts scrEAMING 

**Agatha-** it makes me laugh just thinking about it all over again 

**Yara-** Agatha: sup

**Yara-** tedros: *confused screaming*

**Agatha-** you know what, that’s how our first time meeting went lol

**Chaddick-** maybe he thought you were lesso again 

**Sophie-** LMAO 

**Agatha-** YOU KNOW WHAT, BET 

**Sophie-** Did he have his glasses on?

**Agatha-** there was a kitten on-my-shoulder 

**Agatha-** he thought it was like a demon or something 

**Yara-** like a real breathing cat?

**Chaddick-** like one with fur and the works?

**Chaddick-** cause when i first met reaper i thought he was a demon 

**Hester-** reapers the best boy

**Chaddick-** of  _ course _ you would think that 

**Agatha-** another kitten, a BABEY with black fur 

**Agatha-** the next morning merlin named him nilrem which is super cool and now we have two cats and tedros doesn’t like either of them but he loves them 

**Yara-** aren’t you a little too young to have kids?

**Agatha-** phineas, I know what we’re gonna do today! 

**Yara-** agatha why 

**Yara-** wait you said tedros camps with a LAMP?

**Agatha-** he’s new to the whole, isolating from the world, thing

**Agatha-** it hit me when he pulled out the frozen yogurt machine that something was off

**Sophie-** okay but actually, i hate frozen yogurt

**Sophie-** it’s like, the celery of deserts. Be ice cream or be NOTHING

**Chaddick-** okay then psycho 

**Chaddick-** but vv wholesome story agatha

**Hort-** wait, i’m still lost. how did the cat get on your shoulder

**Agatha-** i… am not sure 

**Hester-** hold on 

**Hester-** what did merlin name him 

**Agatha-** nilrem 

**Hester-** i hate to break this to you, but merlin named your cat after himself which is kind of a power move 

**Agatha-** he wouldn’t

**Sophie-** wait, what? 

**Agatha-** hold on

**Agatha-** SPELT BACKWARDs AKAKDHDJKSJJS

**Ravan-** okay, that’s hardcore 

**Anadil-** hester how did you notice that 

**Hester-** i’m galaxy brain 😎

**Nicola-** i can’t believe you just used that fucking emoji unironically 

**Hort-** dude why do you hate emojis 

**Nicola-** they remind me of minions

**Nicola-** hate those yellow fuckers 

**Hort-** aw man nicola’s on her bully shit

**Nicola-** i hate minions, okay. 

**Sophie-** what did minions ever do to you?

**Nicola-** breathed

**Agatha-** why can’t we say brothed as past tense for breathing?

**Hort-** that would be savage 

**Ravan-** BECAUSE OF ENGLISH 

**Hester-** i can’t believe you were the smartest in our class 

**Agatha-** FUCK ENGLISH IT’S A REAL IMPORTANT QUESTION 

**Hester-** we are not getting into this argument again 

**Sophie-** can’t believe you guys have a running argument about english 

**Sophie-** nerds 

**Agatha-** But Sophie, this is important. Is it more effective to say had or had had 

**Hester-** shouldn’t more than one cheese itz be called cheese themselves-

**Agatha-** why doesn’t rough, cough, and dough rhyme 

**Sophie-** no to all of that. I’m not even school smart and I know better. 

**Hort-** guys stop being smart my brain hurted 

  
**Hester-** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r88ajYd2scg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r88ajYd2scg)


End file.
